Mirror, Mirror...stop faking me out!

I thought I looked so good that day when I checked the mirror before we left. 
Bold, bright colors?  Check.
Layers?  Check.
Clothes that hide my "be prepared" spare tire?  Check.
Accessories with texture?  Check.
Hair styled fabulously?  Check.
Makeup applied perfectly?  Check.
I was pretty damn sure my mirror was telling me that I looked fair, fantastic even.

Alas, today as I looked at our proofs I'm pretty sure I cried as I looked in the mirror across the room and played a movie in my head where I threw my tea cup and it shattered into a million pieces.  I looked frumpy, I looked like a soccer mom, I looked like I tried too hard, I looked like I never checked the mirror before leaving home.

Where do babies come from?

Zoey - Mom, this blanket was made in Vietnam.

Me - Cool.  (pause)  You were made in Taylorsville.

Zoey - Oh God mom!  That is SO disgusting.

I laughed for three minutes straight.

Twilight fanatics

At Walmart the other day they had a rack of junior girls' Twilight tshirts with Edward on the bottom corner for only $1.  Harrison decided he just HAD to have one and bought it. 
The next day he wore it to school beneath a button up shirt.  Come recess he opened his shirt and went up to his best friend and said, "Check out my awesome new shirt!".  His friend told him he was gay and crazy and asked why he would ever wear a shirt with Edward on it.  About that time a few of the girls came over and told Harrison how awesome his shirt was.  As he walked away with the girls he looked back over his shoulder and said to his friend, "Whos' gay now sucker?!"

Breaking up is hard to do

Explaining to Zoey why she needed to calm down a bit while I left her with my grandmother...

Me: Sometimes it's hard for older people who aren't used to being around energetic, fun loving, crazy kids, and some who are used to it, to be patient with the kids.  So, I really need you to calm down and be good and chill.

Zoey:  Are you breaking up with me?!

Beach treasures

My mom loves to go agate and rock hunting at the beaches that are near her house.  While showing Harrison and Zoey her treasures, my mom was telling me about a batch she just got back from someone who was polishing them for her.  She was telling me about how upset she was because she had found a Tiger's Eye and was so excited to see how it looked all shined up, how it was the only Tiger's Eye she's found in all the years she's lived there. 
A few minutes into the conversations Zoey says,
"Oh geez, I thought you were talking about a REAL tiger's eye and I was thinking how disgusting that was!!"

What do you love?

Harrison had been complaining about this and that and another when I asked him,
"What do you love?"
Without skipping a beat he answers,
"Money!.............but you're a really close second."